Road Trip: Bring Us Your Virgins


Hopper_icon.jpg Dion_icon.jpgAillen_Icon.jpg Jocelyn_icon.jpgNeil_icon.jpg

Scene Title Road Trip: Bring Us Your Virgins!
Synopsis In which Neil joins the group via the Hermes Express, and the D-List encounter priests of Caligula in a parade of the damn, and many dick jokes are made.


The back streets and slums of Rio.

We go to RIO!! The group poofles into a random side street in the greater slums of Rio. There is an entire city to cross and a giant monolith to climb and search in order to find Astrius's horn. Jocelyn managed to save the group a lot of time in searching the labrynth to find out the Minotaur is dead, the Spanish Invaded Crete and plundered temples. Captain Corsair led the expedition, gave the horns to his son, and it was passed down through the generations. There are actually 2 of them, that were grafted together and given to the last heir the architect that build the grand monolith.

Jocelyn steps out of the van, looking a bit disoriented from the sudden change in scenery, and blinks up at the sky for a moment as if confused, slowly tugging her messenger bag a bit tighter against her torso as she leans against the edge of the van, continuing to regain her composure. "You know, I honestly wasn't expecting it to be raining here, too. Not sure why I wasn't expecting rain." She runs a hand through her damp hair, looking into the distance at the massive statue, "So. I guess we've got to see about heading that way." Jo nods to the statue.

Hopper reaches into his pocket to pull out a small flask of something that he swishes in his mouth and spits out before looking back at the Statue. "Ok….so. We gotta find a way into a national monument and somehow grab a mythological creatures remnants without being busted and deported…..Ooooookay." He says looking back to Aillen and D. "Thoughts?"

Aillen looked about the streets as he let go of the van and tilted his head skyward taking in the scent of the place. "Not quite the same scent as home." He looked where Jo nodded and frowned before looking to Hopper "Well the easy thing to do would be to just fly up that way during the night. Its not like we'll be easy to see. I have a couple sets of black packed after all. Or we walk up, tell them we are going in, and then make them let us."

Dion doesn't look particularly well as they're yanked from one place to another. He doesn't actually throw up, but he looks like he's really considering it. There's several pulls from his flask, though it's only water at the moment. "I hate doing that…" he mutters quietly, then has a slow breath as he tries to focus on what they need to do. "Thoughts…" He works on that, then says "I could just ask nicely?"

Jo shakes her head and looks at the others, "Well, honestly, getting into the monument isn't going to be difficult. It's one of the biggest tourist attractions around here. And there's a church at the base of the statue," she nods, recalling the information she'd pulled up regarding the statue before their sudden trip, "Of course, I couldn't find anything specific about a pair of ancient horns looted from a pagan temple. Not exactly something they'd advertise too loudly in modern day. Our best bet may just be to go look. Maybe it's somewhere out in the open?"

"Ok…. so we can get in." Offers Hopper, reaching into his Van to pull out his pack. He lifts his head, trying to hear something in the distance. "You guys here drums?" He asks curiously. "Well, if it's like most things in Pagan/Christian conglomos….it would be in the open and disguised at something evil that good is over coming…Like Cernuous and the Devil…" He offers helpfully, checking his PDA for a few directions. "Getting us a pedestrian route…"

"Well maybe if you could find me a bull to scent first? I mean a Minotaur horn might smell kind of the same." Aillen gave a shrug and sighed. "Course the alternate is that he put the horns In Jesus. The lady said that Jesus has what we need after all. So if we can go over that big statue its bound to be in it or on it somewhere. But I doubt they will let us crawl all over it in the open."

Dion listens to the others, then pauses and tilts his head a bit to listen to something else. He smiles, then nods to Hopper and says, "There's something going on down that way. Sounds like a parade. Or maybe a street fair. It's some kind of party, anyway." He might need to work on his priorities.

Jocelyn looks in the direction Dion and Hopper are, and grimaces slightly at the thought of a parade, "Oh, glee. A parade. At least we're here too late for Carnival," she shakes her head, apparently having seen it before. "But it could be that the horns were incorporated into a statue of Satan or something - that seems to be their favorite application for my family's relics," Jo grumbles, sounding a bit bitter, "But in the mean time, may as well see what the party's about? No sense in standing here in the alley looking like tourists."

"Well at least the Van has a nice parking spot." Aillen shook his head as he glanced to Dion. "Don't forget the rich friend with the private jet while you're at it." With a sigh, he stretched a bit, glancing to his clothing, which was dampened down to the point that it was clinging to him like a second skin. "Well at least I should fit the dress code. Though I'd feel better fighting than finagling my way through a crowd I can't speak to."

Dion sighs to Jo's comment. "I know. How fabulous would that be? I'd love to be here for Carnival." But, they're not. "Let's see what's going on. I'm sure I can find some friends there." Ones he hasn't met yet, but friends nonetheless. "Let me just freshen up, first. I'm not fit to be seen yet." He sets about fussing with his clothes and hair.

At Aillen and Dion's comments about appearance, Jocelyn looks down at herself, in her wrinkled blue t-shirt, baggy cargo pants, and high top sneakers, "Carnival wasn't that great. Buncha gorgeous half-naked, or all naked, women covered in glitter and feathers," she shrugs, apparently being a bit of a joy-kill today, "But sure. Onwards to the party."

Aillen grinned at that a bit before wiping it off his face though his eyes still carried a twinkle of amusement. "Well we shouldn’t keep Dion's friends waiting too long. Would be terribly rude, after all." He of course moved slightly a bit further away from Jo's smacking and kicking range. "Though it would be nice to find someone who can help us get the horns here."

Hopper doesn't mind being wet. Or cold. Or Dirty. The water runs over him, and he's thankful that he's waterproofed his bag, as is Twitch. "Let's hit the bricks," he offers, checking the PDA and reaching for his umbrella and attaching it to it's stand on his backpack.

It was, back in New Atlantis, chill, cloudy, but dry. But the sudden change in distance and time zones mean that Neil is in a warmer area on the planet, at a different time zone, and it's /wet/. "Mrr?" He lifts up his shield to cover his head as he takes in his surroundings, as Sunrise, startled at the wet, starts to shimmy himself dry as best he can. "Where?" He looks up. "Hey," he says. "Say, Joc? You dad did not tell me you needed help. He did not send me here to help. And he doesn't say hi. Its just coincidence we've run into each other again." Neil: worst liar ever.

Dion doesn't spend too long primping. For Dion. Though, he does opt for things that won't look as bad wet, given the rain. It leaves him with slicked back hair that he makes really work. "So, shall we go be fabulous?" he asks the others. He, certainly, intends to be fabulous. Then, something occurs to him and he looks at Neil. He looks confused for a moment, then says "Were you here all this time, Neil?"

Jocelyn glares at Aillen, and looks about ready to kick him in the shins for his commentary, when a familiar voice says her name, and Jocelyn jumps slightly, head whipping in the direction of the voice, blinking through the rain in confusion. "Neil?!" She smirks at mention of her dad, chuckling softly, "Yup. Sounds about right for the way this day has been going. Welcome to Rio, in case you weren't filled in before being flung over here by some oh-so-mysterious force," there's obvious sarcasm in her voice on that last part, "We're heading to see if we can snag the remnants of a mythological creature from one of the seven wonders of the modern world. But first," she points in the direction of the drums, "Apparently, party."

Aillen blinked at the sudden scent then presence of Neil. It was good he wasn't the sort to be too jumpy about it, and by the time he heard Neil talking he chuckled. "Did you enjoy your trip?" He gave the damp puppy a pat on the head before allowing his powers to manifest to let him address Sunrise directly. "Don't let Neil get himself into too much trouble. All those naked women out there might do something horrible to him. Best you keep him away from them." Aillen grinned and gave Neil a wink. It was fun to be a brat now and then. "Alright Dion, you can be the lead in your realm. Go forth and be fabulous. We'll be right behind you being far less so than you."

Hopper starts to lead the way, having a mechanical contraption that will lead the group through the streets and towards the intended target, but unfortunately it leads right through that party. But, it's not unfortunate where others are concerned, they are excited about it. But to Hopper, but the idea of any parade happening on a wet and rainy night. He pauses as Dion is put in charge and he puts the device away and lets the group progress in their preferred way.

"Just got here," Neil explains to Dion, relaxing some once he sees he's among friends. "Took the express." Magic ticket throwing him some few thousand miles. Happens all the time. Really. He turns his gaze in the directions. "A party," he says. "Oooookay." He brings his shield down, and checks the nearest mirror to smooth out his hair. Jeans, T-shirt, jacket. Definitely… Regular Chic, avec Dog.

Sunrise turns, wagging his tail as he spots Aillen. «He will be careful,» the dog answers, «Perhaps he could use a little fun-»

"Sunrise? Aillen?" Neil says. "I'm right here, you know."

«Yes, we know.»

Neil glowers at the ground for a moment. A pet dog. Gee, thanks Dad. He looks back up to Jocelyn. "Never been to Rio, so this'll be new." He looks around. "Told Dion last week things were going to get weirder…"

Dion ohhhs to Neil, looking relieved that he hadn't been that oblivious. "Good. Come along, then." he says, after scritching Sunshine's head. "Let's play." He heads right for the party, taking out his flask and turning it back into a lovely golden cup. He has a sip of sweet red wine, then smiles brightly and turns on Center of Attention when they reach all the people.

Well….isn't that a bitch? Center of attention really is only advantageous when going into a group of good, normal people. However, this parade is something that doesn't seem right or real. It has all the feel of Carnival, but a sicker, sad version of it. There are floats, and feathers, and everyone is naked. But it's worse that that, Jim. The only thing people are wearing other than feathers and sequins and leather are little golden sandals.

Everyone is wearing them. It's the only thing that links people together. And the group is fucking…. everywhere. Floats carry along mass orgies of people fucking past the point of 'should' fuck. Drums play, the orgy of the damned passes down the street and every one of them turns to look at Dion as he approaches. About 200 golden sandaled fuck warriors turn to look at D and the group, all suddenly grinning at the same time. A squadron of robed figures on the largest most prominent float all point towards the group.

"Bring the virgins…" is said in a loud accented voice. And all at once, 200 golden sandled people start towards the group.

Jocelyn freezes, her face going white as a sheet as she backs away instinctively, looking around at the others, as if to confirm that she had actually just heard what she thought she had. Also to see if she was really the only virginal senior in the school, and thus the only one with cause for alarm. Her grip tightens around the caduceus pendant at her neck as the soldiers descend. Shaking her head as though to clear her thoughts, she whispers quietly in Greek, blinking her eyes as though to clear a fog from them. When she opens her eyes again, she looks at the swarming mass of nudity with the Unlidded Eye, hoping for some idea of just what was going on.

"Um guys, I would suggest that you all get ready to Duck." Aillen had apparently taken the moment of distraction provided by the sudden barrage of orgy to step into a nearby alleyway, and had a large dumpster held overtop his head providing a convenient umbrella, and thankfully the rain and wind were keeping the smell away. "Dion, get ready to take control over these fuckers." With a bit of a running start, Aillen had shifted the weight of the dumpster on to one arm, and with the power of the gods behind him, he hurled it at the float filled with robed figures. It was time to get down and dirty after all.

Hopper is all about loosing his virginity at any given time…but getting it torn from him by a crowd of strangers? In public? NOOOOOOPE! He whispers over his shoulder. "Tar-jar." The next moment Twitch appears dragging a small glass jar filled with black goo. He dumps it over himself and changes as he ducks. When he comes back up he is a naked man covered in sequins and wearing a pair of golden sandals.

At the words of command, Neil freezes. The assault on his senses from the debauched scene before him and the party turning towards them as a target fixes his resolve. "Oh. Shit," he mutters. He's not the kind to curse a lot, and even Sunrise gives him a Look (tm) at that. He brings his shield up, bracing his feet against the ground to resist the onslaught, the Golden Retriever at his side. "I'll be embarrassed later," he whispers. "Promise."

That… isn't at all what Dion was expecting and he just stares at first as his cheeks redden. Apparently, this isn't his idea of a good time, either. His expression goes serious immediately, and while he does duck, he also tries to move protectively in front of the others as he uses Crowd Control to slow down the oncoming nudes. "Wait!" he calls to them, putting out a hand in a 'stop' gesture. "I'm sure we can find a reasonable solution here. We'll just go, and leave you to your… partying." He tries not to look ill about all this.

A naked big eared white boy wearing glasses and little golden sandals sort of enters the crowd ducking erect phalli and hungry vagines. For his part though, the world around him seems to forget he is there. There is chaos and he is taking no part in getting involved in it. So, that being said, Fate and a boon makes sure he isn't noticed in the riot. He weaves through the crowd heading towards the main float.

Snapping out of her initial shock at both the scene and the oncoming swarm, Jocelyn ducks out of the way of Aillen's attack, stepping behind her friend, her cheeks flush a brilliant shade of red in embarrassment. Somewhat composed again, she calls her sword to her hand steeling herself to face the would-be rapists, and stepping slightly to the side with a practiced motion. As the group reaches for her, the young Greek goes into self preservation mode, sweeping her sword in graceful, swift arcs, the slashes aiming to take out kneecaps, hamstrings, and other things of the advancing revelers.

Sunrise immediately stands in front of his shield-wielding master, though it's a big crowd, and Neil's a little unsure of how Dion does his social bits. Therefore, he's trying to play the defense game, and a quick memory-flash to plant creatures pounding the Golden Retreiver makes him crouch forward, putting his hand on Sunrise's back as the rainbow threads intertwined with the black on his headband shimmer through the visible light spectrum. "Be safe, Sunrise. And stay close."

A lot happens at once. There is some buckles that get swashed and some knees that get cleaved and a lot of kick assing from Joc and Neil as the mob descends on our heroes. Dion's shout causes the group to suddenly cease it's throng of activity. All at once they stop what they are doing and turn to walk away, helping some of their wounded friends walk away, all but one. Naked beefy Hopper ducks as the giant trash bin goes sailing over head, smashing into the float and destroying it. Knocking the group of hooded figures to the ground, crushing one of them completely.

Robes are thrown off as the 5 remaining members suddenly expose themselves for what they are. Eyes and noses are wear they belong, ears as well, but their mouths are smoothed over by flesh. But there is a reason for it. Giant Phalli….the size of say…oil drums and as long as boa constrictors sway and snap as gaping fang filled mouths hiss and sway. "We shall have you virgins, in the name of Caesar." They all speak as one, and suddenly they surge forward with suprising speed.

"Jo! Get airborn and lift the targets to safety." With the command given, Aillen was far less worried about himself than his squishy friends. As for giant phallic nasty bits, well he had his own phallic symbol which was rather the more useful. With a crash forward, the giant bone spear spun about in his hands, the fearful and controlled once minions diving out of the way as he held firm to the butt of Gae Bolga and slammed the wicked blade towards the figure that had just attacked him.

Hopper is sneaky…. sneaky and naked. He suddenly shifts and black tar slips away from him, returning him to his typical appearance, this time with gun! The gun is of course aimed at Dion's assailant. Mainly because he knows how to play with his own team. Dion is the strong social link, and the weak physical link. So, Hopper being the sneaky one, always has Dion's back. The gun is hefted and aimed at the Priest of Caligula, then with a single flick of his wrist, the trigger is pulled and Hopper is knocked back and onto his ass.

Jocelyn blinks and shakes her head, as though attempting to clear her head again, dodging neatly out of the way as the Priest of Caligula launches at her. As the ithyphallic wretch lunges, Jo raises her sword in defense, the blade still glistening with the blood of the previous attackers. Shifting lightly on her feet, Jocelyn glides forward, dragging her sword through the air, a shockwave passing from the blade into the air, flying at the attacking priest. Following through with her attack, Jocelyn launches herself into the air, continuing upwards far beyond a normal jump, and hovering above the bizarre scene.

There is a bit of defeatism when it comes to the Norse. The spectre and inevitability of Ragnarok hangs over the heads of the Norse Gods, which is passed on to their Scions in their own way. They /expect/ to be beaten, in the end. What Neil didn't expect was that he was going to be beaten off in the most horrifying way possible. Where the others go forward, Neil hangs back from his attacking…thing. He's playing defense; becoming one with his shield to ward off the…blows. No, this incident is not going to screw him up mentally. No, really.

Dion… did not expect that to work so well, but when it does he mutters a quiet thank you to his father as he watches the people calm down and move away. And then the things on the float are revealed, and … There's just no words. None at all. Of course, when the group is rushed by the weird, uh, cult's members, Dion's self-preservation instincts make him harder to hit. It's habit for him to take his microphone in hand, but then one thinks about the results of hitting a giant Phallus with something phallus-shaped that induces euphoria. Let's just NOT go there, considering how it's affected other, much more innocent things. No, that would be bad. He really does not want to charm the giant Phallus that's rushing him, and while 'Not in the face! and 'Blurt it out!' would be really funny to yell in this situation - they too just wouldn't be much help.

Instead, out comes the flask, which immediately turns into the goblet. He gestures at the one bearing down on him and tries out Paralyzing Confusion. Of course, he's also gesturing with his cup, which is holding Everclear at the moment. Ever poured that on your privates? *Splash…*

The scene goes down like this. Aillen's guy throws himself to the side in an amazing display of dexterity, but it is to no avail. The spear finds it's way into his side and sticks hard. The phallus opens it's mouth and shrieks in pain as the Gae Bolga finds it's target, but misses a lot of vital organs. The phallus itself, lashes out angrily, trying to bite Aillen.

Hopper's gun fires hard enough to knock the boy back onto his ass and over himself until he comes to a stop on his stomach. The gun blows an arm off of the Priest, which doesn't seem to need it as seeing a prone Hopper, it moves in to attack, rape, penetrate, eat…. god only knows what they do if they catch you.

Jo's sword gleams in the air, sending a wave of sharpened wind cuts deep into a Priest Phallus, completely severing it. The priest drops to the ground dead, but the Phallus, now free, starts to move like a snake, still snapping and hissing at the airborne Jo.

Neil's attacker continues to try and get through the impenetrable defense that is put up in a manner that turns the attacks all but futile.

As Aillen dodges out of the way of the big angry phallus of biteyness, he falls back with all his might on the shaft of the spear, ripping the thousand barbs free from icky thing to shred it to parts.

Hopper's rabbits-foot suddenly flares bright blue and he turns into a flurry of tracers of himself as he matrix's around the biting and snapping at him. He rolls here and there until he finally throws himself to the side, rolling hard against the ground and letting out a loud grunt of exertion, he raises the gun once more, the blast roars towards it's intended target, but the down side is…once again, little Hopper is thrown sideways and up against a brick wall where he opens his mouth in a silent groan of pain, letting out a soft, "Fuck me, that hurt…"

Jocelyn continues to hover above the gruesome scene below, attempting to fight back the wave of revulsion and nausea that was trying to overtake her. She glares at the snapping horror beneath her, face pulled back into a grimace, pulling her sword arm back in preparation for striking. Setting herself in the air, she lets her arm fly, the shining blade of the sword slicing through the air and sending a sharpened shockwave at the snapping bits below her.

Chuckling, the young Greek half mutters to herself, "You know, I'm pretty sure you should see a doctor about that. I mean they say you should see one if that lasts longer than four hours… pretty sure lasting post mortem isn't exactly good either…"

There is a time to defend oneself. Then, there is a time to act. Neil, figuring throwing his shield at a giant phallic symbol wouldn't be that effective. Also, he thinks that striking said giant phallus would result in phantom sympathy pain on his part. Which is a little more delusional about one's self than Neil usually is, but he's also still a teenager. He glances around, knowing something about his own strengths, and spots Dion. Ah-ha. He moves over to the shorter guy. "Good thing we brought protection," he says, placing a hand on Dion's shoulder while he invokes his guardian powers through the headband. "But if you know a good half-divine shrink for all of us after this, feel free to share."

There's a huge amount of relief when the confusion works, but Dion doesn't just stop to enjoy his victory. Instead, he's immediately looking around to see who might need his help fending off the phalli. He doesn't look well though, because ew. This whole thing is deeply, deeply disturbing. Fortunately, he isn't one of the ones truly in danger here. He does laugh at Neil's comments, both about protection and on needing a shrink after this. "I have no idea how to deal with this, aside from some kind of brain bleach." he replies, then since Neil's in no apparent danger he focuses his attention on the one going after Hopper as a long, hard thorn sprouts from his hand.

The Knucklebuster splatters one of the Priest of Caligula into a heap of messy parts. The Kerykeion's shockwave splits the wandering phalli into 2 sections before it goes still but for a few death throws. The Priest looks at the everclear on his member and stares at it, unable to process anything else….it's simply paralysed in confusion if you will. The Gae Bolga comes out, leaving a sort, but still angry looking Priest, and the Priest after Sunrise and Neil suddenly yells in rage.

The two of them turn a deep shade of purple and red and they sort of shrivel up, thier phalli suddenly growing larger and more deadly. One starts towards Aillen, and the other towards Dion which looks like an easier target that the impossibly blurry Hopper.

With a freed spear, Aillen hopped back, avoiding landing on the spilt blood with an agile grace as he gripped the midsection of his spear like a staff as he spun it about in a blur, bone moving faster than the eye can see forming an impenetrable barrier to keep out the nasty flesh.

Dion didn't think these things could possibly get more disgusting. Then, there's shrinkage, and not the sort he'd prefer in this particular situation. "Ew." he observes, and then his eyes widen considerably when one starts towards him. "EW!" he yells as he backs away, then screeches in his feminine voice "You're not my type! You're not my type! Parlay! Let me talk to your boss!" he yells then as he tries his best to keep it away from him. Neil's protection or not - he's not turning his back on the thing.

"Jo! Get ready to catch!" Aillen didn't quite make things any clearer than that as he planted Gae Bolga into the ground to pole vault him over the cock monsters like an Olympic gymnast, landing beside Dion, and hooking a hand under his arm. "Just think happy thoughts Dion, Its time to fly. " With a pivot of his body he heaved the extremely light and fashionable Dion towards his flying band mate before pivoting himself around and lunging forward with his wicked blade to stab the one eyed monster.

Hopper for his part is aiming….He sees teeth sink into Dion who takes a mauling, and it sets Hopper on edge. His eyes narrow and his gun comes up. He flicks a switch on the handle and a small copper set of lenses flip up on top of the gun along with a strange looking crosshair. Aim. Aim. Aim.

Jocelyn yelps aloud as her bloodied friend is hurled towards her, dropping her sword instinctively to avoid further injuring Dion. The intricate sword vanishes shortly after it leaves her hand, the rustling of wings accompanying the sword on its way. Diving forward, she catches Dion as carefully as she can, shifting him so that he is cradled in her right arm - awkward though it looks, she's apparently having no issues supporting his weight. Her left hand, now freed, moves to the stone pendant at her neck, and she begins mumbling in Greek, eyeing the same monster Hopper is targeting. As she completes her spell, she points at the beast in question.

Hopper grunts as he pulls himself off the wall. His arms straining to hold up the heavy gun, he groans softly to himself as the weight causes his hands to shake and only pure Duty keeps him currently pressing through the firelike pain in his muscles. His right eye closes so he can see through his left through the series of lenses and towards the Priest of Caligula that is currently beating harmlessly against Neil's shield. D's attacker has Aillen who can do much worse than Hopper and his knucklebuster. But none the less, the gun makes a slight whirring sound as he pulls the trigger and *BLAM* The Knucklebuster fires, throwing Hopper back, skidding sneakers on wet pavement until he is back against the wall once again.

With a growl into the raining wet air, Aillen planted his booted feet into the streets of Rio as he slammed the bone spear forward to build momentum before he ripped it upwards, spraying blood skywards on the freed weapon.

The flash of fire and the smell of gunpowder mixed with all other manner of chemicals to help the bullet burn hotter and shoot harder, leaves nothing but a steaming pile of gross all over the streets.

Jocelyn drops from the sky amid the chaos, landing delicately on her feet near the paralyzed priest that had so badly injured Dion. Frowning slightly, she approaches cautiously, glaring at the man. "So, am I correct to assume that it is not sheer chance that we happened across your sick parade in our way? Who sent you to delay us?"

The man is currently paralyzed with confusion, but seems to be coming around. Hopper, being a perceptive sort, much like Jocelyn, will quickly piece together the pieces of the tar-baby and turns it on, spraying the man down with a sticky black substance and sticks him to the ground in his homemade glue. A moment later there is thrashing, but the glue holds, leaving the Priest to be interrogated. And Joc's command, he hisses and shakes his head, not wanting to speak.

Aillen moves to stand beside the man, leaning his spear right beneath the man's chin aimed at his throat. "I think you really ought to do what she says. I can make this last a Long time. They call this spear many things, the death spear is only one of them." He grinned a wolfish grin as he looked into the priests eyes.

Jocelyn nods in thanks to Hopper for pinning the man to the ground, and thankfully removing the chance that they'd be attacked again. She glares at the man, tilting her head to the side. "I'll ask again. And you may just may just want to consider answering this time. Otherwise my friend may just turn you into a glorified pin cusion," she grins wickedly, "Who sent you to delay us? I'm not one to believe this was coincidence. Who are you working with?"

Dion is starting to come around slowly, and winces in pain. Fortunately, he can do something about that. He starts to heal himself.

The Priest struggles still, hissing and making a pained look as he manages to resist for the moment. His voice offering. "There are worse things." comes a disembodies voice from the tar covered phallus. "My master could do worse things to me for betraying and will do worse things to you for trying to stop us…" There is a sinister laughter before Hopper walks over.

Hopper grins and bends down, poking at the talking bulge. "Aww…. would you look at that! It's so cute and little…." He talks to it like a puppy. "Who's a widdle weenee? Who's a widdle weenee?" He laughs and points at it. "What's a matter buddy? Can't get it up?" He turns around and presents his backside. "And here I was gonna give it up to you." This of course turns the priest red in embarrassment and rage.

Aillen tries really really hard not to laugh at Hopper, but it was very difficult. He even pressed the blade to be touching the priest without pushing in to show that he meant business

Dion shakes his head a bit. "Ow." he says softly. "That wasn't fun at all." He looks up from the ground, to see what he missed.

Jocelyn's jaw drops at Hopper's taunting of the captured priest, her eyebrow twitching in shock. She actually turns a bit red out of embarrassment, "I… wow." She shakes her head and looks at the priest, "So, any chance you'll tell us now? If for no other reason than to get him to stop doing that?"

The man grumbles and suddenly his cock starts talking. "Lord Caligula, Grandchild of Aphrodite, god of lust! Hail CALIGULA!" He says with a zealots shriek. "Queen Hera came to my Lord with a deal."

"Well seems your grandma is being a right bitch again Jo." Aillen shook his head and leaned his spear back away from the man, then looked around at mortals who might still be around in the area.

Dion blinks. "Okay…" he says softly. "This doesn't sound good. For us, I mean." Of course, if any of them could understand anything about Caligula, you'd think it might be Dionysus' son.

Hopper has nothing to add, as he doesn't know much about Caligula or the Dodekatheon. He tilts his head to the side and listens, shifting his rump again to keep the man embarrassed. Mwa ha.

Jocelyn sighs heavily, muttering to herself in Latin, before continuing, "Gods, that goddess is bloody insane. Teaming up with a crackpot like Little Booties. Bah," she smirks, "So what sort of deal did she come to your master with, hmm? Promise of power, knowledge? And just what did you lot do to get yourselves demoted to dealing with a bunch of meddling kids?"

"Wait, Booties? You mean those gold shoes everybody was wearing? Might be best to have them separated from the chaps you got calmed Dion. I'll set the pixies to the task." Aillen let a whistle out as the hum of insect wings announces the arrival of his little troops and with a command they go flying about untying shoes.

Dion gets up finally, and dusts himself off before sashaying over towards their prisoner. He's so… Charming, isn't he? "Anything else you shouldn't be telling us, but you will?" he asks the priest, smiling at him.

The Priest is trying to resist but with Joc forcing him to Blurt it Out and Hopper keeping his willpower all but nullified he shrieks and struggles. "She would put an end to his philandering. The Lord disguised himself as a girl, and when Zeus presented his phallus, Caligula used the Gorgon's poison to wound him. Zeus is sick, Hera is queen, and the Lord Caligula has another opportunity to assume his rightful place on Olympus after Zeus cast him into Tartarus."

Jocelyn nods to Aillen, "Yeah, Caligula means 'little boots.' Nickname given to Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus as a child." Jo watches the pixies go zooming off before turning her attention back to the captive as he starts to gibber out the explanation, "Wow, that's just wrong. Even for my family that's sorta screwed up on several levels." She does grimace at the thought of Caligula becoming one of the Olympian gods, shaking her head, "Well, I suppose that's largely all the information we'll get outta him. Now what?" She looks to Aillen, since he tends to be the defacto leader.

Hopper actually has an idea on how to deal with the bad guy that is left over. He collects the bodies of the fallen, piles them together and throws a vial of blue gel on them that instantly burst into a creepy flame. He then asks everyone to hide for a moment as he turns into a black cloak monster phallied figure…. with big ears and glasses. He bends down and looks at him speaking. "Good job. You raped the shit out of those kids, killed the hell out of em, and then set their bodies ablaze….You did a great job. You should go and report back to your boss now." He says with a bright…'smile', turning and disappearing into the shadows, leaving the priest to go back to the boss.

… To be continued

//This is the fifth installment of the Road Trip series. It was preceded by Road Trip: We go to Rio! and is followed by Road Trip: Finding Jesus //

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