|Scene Title||Prologue - Aftermath|
|Synopsis||Oh noes! Our heroes are split apart!|
The last thing she remembers is seeing the large bokor that seemed impossible to fight. So what did Maia do? Well, she got on her cell and called Haldor. She saw him fight the same demigod the previous night, though not to much avail. As she rushes back towards the scene, there's the lindworm skinned, and well, not much else. There's a gasp as she looks around looking all worried.
Maia's already in full combat mode, her ofuda razor sharp as she looks around and wrinkles her nose just a bit. "Rupee?!? David?!?!? Please I hope they didnt die.."
"Rupee?" Rupert asks incredulously, walking around the lindwurm into view. "No, luv. Just, no."
"And monkey-boy's inside the worm. Better start hacking," he adds.
As fortune would have it, Haldor is sort of in foot-travel range. Of course, foot travel range for Haldor is significantly different from foot travel range for most people, Scion or otherwise. After getting off of the phone with Maia, the Viking starts sprinting.
Hulk-style jumping may soon become involved, New York City traffic be damned.
Maia just stares at the carcass of the lindwurm with a bitof surprise as she heads on over. "He what?!?!? That idiot got himself swallowed by a giant earthworm?!?! He wassuppose to be the Scion of Sun Wukong! I knew he was just all talk!" she cries out, grumbling under her breath as she wrinkles her nose and starts cutting away at the fleshy gooey shit. There's clear distaste on her features cause well..landworms, especially fifteen foot ones..are gross as hell.
Rupert returns his bagh-nakh to his pocket and watches Maia, smirking. "I didn't even know it had a mouth. Turns out it did." He shrugs and puts out his cigarette on the slimy, skinless carcass. "Might wanna go faster, luv. Doubt there's much air in there."
Fortunately both of the buroughs and both of the counties on Long Island have very interconnected roadways. Haldor is busily leaping from vehicle to vehicle along one of the major arteries on the proper shore-side of the Island as he makes his way toward the beach… And The Dread Lindwurm Hungry.
"Why arent you helping?!?" she asks with a slightly exasperated tone as she shows her various prayer strips that have become razor sharp. They're the size of throwing knives, and they dont really do much. "It's like cutting into a really disgusting, smelly, stinky ass steak…that's rotten..and soaking in the run for entirely too long.." Maia icks once more, wrinkling her nose as she starts cutting, but alas, she cant do anything
Thump. Well, that didn't take long. David's wet, freshly showered, shirtless, and has on a new pair of (yellow, of course) sweatpants when he lands on the sand after his two mile jump. "Rip, my good friend, why is Sailor Flashlight carving up wormsteaks? They're no good, I promise, and I'll eat -anything-." Barefoot, the Monkey Prince wanders over, stopping only to retrieve the last of the deviled eggs from the picinic blanket.
"Er, because she's off her rocker?" Rupert offers, crossing his arms and watching. His smirk grows, then fades. "Hey, you better leave me one of those. I helped kill the sodding thing, ought to get a reward for my troubles."
"You said he got…gah!" she cries out, throwing her arms in the air as she facepalms and wrinkles her nose as she starts rushing towards Rupert trying to pummel him in the arm. If anything she's gotten faster, and wlel, angrier. "You..you told me the idiot got swallowed by the worm!"
"Swallowed by a -worm-? Are you serious? I can kill a dozen of these in thirty seconds and walk out unscathed. A fucking -lindwurm-? I'm pretty sure I tangled so hard with a -demigod- so hard he had to flee five minutes ago, what are you, crazy?" David takes a bite of the last egg, holds the rest out to Rupert, head cocked, as if asking if he wants the rest.
Rupert glances at the half an egg, and rolls his eyes. "Hey," he says, backing away from the angry Japanese girl. "Learn to take a joke, eh?"
"… What in the hell is that ugly ass thing?"
Haldor stands up from the small crater in the sand in which he has landed, pointing at the hacked up lindwurm with a drumstick. The Viking squints a bit, shifting his gaze between Rupert and David for a few moments. Wait for it. He's going to recognize someone sooner or later.
"A lindwurm…think of it as a predatory giant earthworm..like a regular earthworm, add a bit of a predatory nature to it, and then multiply it's size, appetite and strength by a few magnitudes.."
See, the answer is simple! This is from the geek chic know-it-all of the group, at least when it comes to mythology, for sheis a Joseph Campbell fan. Maia sighs as she wrinkles her nose and sticks her tongue out towards Rupert. "I'm so going to download your albums illegally now.." she grumps. Hey, she really doesnt listen to his music anyway, but that'sa good threat, right?
"And you.." she says, pointing towards David. "You…suck." Yeah, that's a real good one.
"What? I suck because I -wasn't- devoured by Titanspawn and, in fact, totally saved that chick and those two adorable twin kids through my daring heroics, by facing off against a being who might very well have been powerful enough to snuff me with a thought if I weren't such a -complete- and -utter- badass? I think this is, in fact, the opposite end of the scale from suck. I think this is pretty much a good fucking day." Egg pops into mouth. David swallows. Adds: "Unless you'd rather it went the other way, the innocent family all dead, your friends all slaughtered, and me being digested so that you wouldn't feel silly."
Rupert shrugs, and offers, "Either one has its upside." He turns to Haldor. "Now, who the fuck are you? Friend of the Yellow Ranger?"
Albums? Playful jibing? Not being weirded out by a giant, dead, predatory earthworm?
You can probably hear the gears clicking in Haldor's head with little effort. His drumstick goes from pointing at the lindwurm to pointing at Rupert. It may take him a few moments to form coherent thoughts enough to start talking, especially after Rupert talks to him.
"… H-Haldor Englund… You're… You. You're… Wait. Yellow Ranger? What?"
"No, me and Jolie saved the woman and the two adorable twins. You started trouble with a family man who obviously didnt want to serve the Titanspawn.." Maia says with a harumph, wrinkling her nose as she facepalms a little at the power ranger comment.
"You, sir..are racist. Just because I am Japanese I am not the yellow ranger. If this were Power Rangers, you'd be the Black Ranger cause you're the British Indian, and hence a major minority in your home country." Then she points over towards David, "He's the snarky one who you want to smack, so he's Green Ranger, but he's more Yellow Ranger than me cause he's Chinese and wears yellow all the time. " Then she motions towards Haldor, "And he'd be Red Ranger cause yaknow..red hair and stuff.."
"Ah, so -that's- how Maia likes her men. Big, strong, hairless, and too slow to make witty comments that upset her delicate viewpoints." David leans over to Rupert while he makes this observation, taking on a stage-whisper tone. "And evil, apparently. We should check this guy out, make sure he's not batting for the other side. Or evil. Gay and evil -both- would be a terrible blow to Maia's self-esteem. And god, does she even -realize- that she's spouting incredibly shallow, appearance-based prejudice right now?"
Rupert smirks at David. "No, but don't tell her. I want to see how long she can keep it up." He turns his gaze to Haldor. "Englad? Your last name is fuckin' England? I'm gonna take a leap here and guess that your daddy wasn't the brightest star in the heavens, yeah?" He steps forward, sliding one hand into the pocket of his trench. "Now, answer me these questions three, ere the other side you see. And by other side, I mean monkey boy tearing you a new one. One! What is your favorite color? Two! Are you evil? Three! Are you gay?"
"Englund. With a 'u', like the actor from Nightmare on Elm Street."
Haldor studies Rupert and David carefully for several moments. Pointedly he shoots a nasty glare at David, though Rupert appears to be utterly immune to Haldor's general 'grr' attitude at being poked fun at. This is likely doing little to relieve fear that he is, in fact, evil.
"Red or grey, depending on what sort of circumstance we're talking about color. Second, no. I'm not evil. And no, I'm not friggin' gay. What the fuck kind of question is that?"
Maia sighs softly as she starts heading towards Haldor with an apologetic bow of her head before she gives the other two an angry glare like this: -_-.
"They're asses. They fight some guy and they think they're the biggest badasses in the universe. Typical.." she says with a harumph as she shakes her head before shaking her head once more while running her fingers through her hair. "So…since I know they wont apologize, I will for them."
"Biggest badasses in -your- universe, baby. Next stop, your evil boyfriend Mordred. I'll save you his head, since you've got such a thing for his lips." Moving forward, David reaches out as he shoots a grin at Haldor. If the other doesn't stop him, there'll be a hard clap on his shoulder. "Mr. British," he says, "I wish you all the luck in the world with Sailor Magical Girl Upskirt Pantyshot. I, however, have some post-slaying celebration to do."
Rupert simply smirks at Maia and turns back to Haldor. "Alright, you're in. I hereby dub thee Freddy." And damn if he doesn't -look- the part of the complete badass. He adds in stage whisper, "Careful with that one, mate. Think I saw 'er on one of those websites. You know, where they get Japanese girls to do all that fucked up shit."
"Fish-shitters.org?" David asks.
Haldor starts to say something to Maia, probably along the lines of 'No worries', but he is interrupted by David claiming to be one of the biggest badasses in his universe. The Viking arches a red eyebrow at this assertion, watching the Monkey Prince move in to clap him on the shoulder.
Promptly Haldor returns the clap on the shoulder to David, doing his best to make it just as hard. It's a guy thing. He chuckles a little bit at Rupert and shakes his head.
"She said I should be careful when I met you two. Something about one of you being annoyed about not getting royalties from Dragonball Z… And the other one having too stiff a British upper lip, which I don't believe. You're The Fucking Ripper, man."
There's a sigh of relief at Haldor's facial expression before she looks over towards David at the mention of Dragonball. Maia cant help but snerk just a little bit, before she bursts out into laughter. "I think I actually prefer my Sailor Moon cracks..at least no white girl has ever played that in a live action movie.." she says, giggling impishly the entire time before sticking her tongue out towards David.
"But laugh all you want, you two. You'll get it coming to you sooner or later.." The cockiest ones always do. Usually something happens, like they get crippled. Yes, that's a good thing. Crippled. Bwahahaha.
Oh yes. David will, most likely, get his one day. But for right now, he wanders over to the lindwurm. His spear grows. He shoves it into the worm's side, and slowly turns it, hollowing out a hole about a foot and a half wide at the entrance.
"Yes, I am," Rupert replies to Haldor's comment, grinning smugly. "Now, who's your daddy?" He pauses, then continues. "Not hard to figure out whose son I am. David's dad's a monkey. Maia thinks the sun shines out her butt because her mum's the Big Lady across the sea."
"You're not going to ask what does he do?" inquires a playfully incredulous Haldor.
The Viking absently runs a hand through his gelled up hair, runic bracer open to inspection for a moment. Haldor promptly brings his hand back to his side, shoving the drumstick he was using to point at things back into the pocket of his oversized hoody in the same motion. A wry grin creeps across his angular features as he regards Rupert.
"My pop's Thor. Thunder god with an agent good enough to get his own comic book?"
"Daaaaavid? You're not upset about the Dee-Bee-Zee crack are you? It's not like he called you Son Goku like I did before.." Maia offers, giving a cheesy and toothy grin towards the monkey boy as she stretches her arms into the air, snickering softly. Yes, she knows he's annoyed, but for some reason, it pleases her.
At this, David begins to move toward Maia. He's moving quickly, purposefully. His hand darts out, inhuman-quick, only to find Maia's arm…not where he thought it was. There's a small, pleased smile. "Ooh. Been -practicing-, have we? Hold still, Maia. Or this will be a lot worse."
Rupert turns looks at David and Maia. "They're like kids," he mutters to Haldor. "I lose cool points every hour I spend with them. Too bad my mum's dead set on me sticking around. Had to cancel a concert in Chicago to do an encore here."
Haldor looks over his shoulder at David and Maia. The Aesir Scion twitches slightly at the situation, but Maia seems to have the situation under control for the moment. Instead of doing the gallant thing, for the moment, he stands his ground in talking with /THE/ coolest person on the beach at the moment.
"Chicago's loss… Though it did get me the chance to get tix to the encore concert."
"What the hell?!?" Maia's definitely annoyed as she moved quickly out of the way. She wrinkles her nose as she looks towards him, glaring towards him for a few moments. "I've been kidnapped by someone who tried to sacrifice me to Terra. If I didnt get better, I think my mother would have a conniption fit.." she says firmly and resolutely, letting out another harumph. "And I'm not holding still." she says, looking over towards Rupert and Haldor with a 'stop him!' kinda look.
Rupert completely ignores David and Maia in favor of chatting with Haldor. "Ignore them." He studies Haldor. "If you come to the concert, tell the doorman your name is Freddy England. He'll set you up with a backstage pass."
Oh no. Not the pleading look. Haldor hates the pleading look. It actually takes a bit of effort not to launch himself across the beach to tackle David. The Viking holds his place for the moment, in part because Rupert has made a command. Can you blame Haldor? He's meeting a metal icon and, now, is offered a backstage pass.
"… That's fuckin' awesome, man. Thanks, I appreciate it."
It's like one of the best wushu spear demonstrations ever. The Qiang of Ao Guang grows in David's head, its razor-sharp leaf-shaped blade glinting in the sunlight of the beach. The yellow banner that trails behind flutters and snaps in the air as David attacks in an amazingly fast flurry - twice a second that spear thrusts, forcing Maia to dance faster and less stably out of the way of each slice until, finally, the spear drops point-first into the sand, and, off-balance, the girl finds herself in a headlock. And about to be dragged, bodily, toward the carcass of the lindwurm.
"Eeep!" There's the first two set of spear thrusts which she starts to move through. "What!?" And there's another two. "The?" and there's another two. "Fuck?!?!" And there's the last two and soon she's grappled and grumps, squirming in his grasp. "David Kong Bao, let me go this instant!" she cries out looking over towards Haldor and Rupert.
Rupert sighs. "Oh, go save your bird," he tells Haldor. "If he gets the shite on her, she'll bitch for days."
Bird? That's a new one on Haldor, though he can reason it through quickly enough. He twists around and squints at David and Maia. Well, well, well. This is… Weird. Haldor can't honestly decide exactly what the best plan is in this situation.
"Man. What the Frigg? Let her go, Captain Simian."
The best solution therefore is to stall. Haldor starts making his way toward the duo, a grouchy expression spread across his features. It's almost as grouchy as the expression you would expect to find on the father who actually had to either "turn this car around" or "come back there", as he had threatened his kids repeatedly.
Right at this very moment, while Rupert watches the hijinks, he is lighting a cigarette and wondering aloud"I wonder what's on the telly tonight?"
Everything happens so quickly. David dragging Maia bodily across the sand by her head. Haldor moving to intercept. The flailing of limbs, the amused chortling of the Monkey Prince. And then…it's over. A mere second before Haldor can arrive to stop things, David gives a huge shove…and Maia sinks head and shoulders into the body cavity of the wurm. Who would have known that when a lindwurm is pregnant, its body cavity fills with eggs? And who would have known that when you shove a woman's face head-first into an egg cluster inside a lindwurm, those eggs smash and break, and the mostly developed baby lindwurms, hundreds of thousands of them, begin to wriggle and crawl, seeking somewhere to burrow into? Like, hair. Nostrils. A mouth.
"Ewwwww!" She screams and coughs out the maggots, getting them out of her hair and nostrils before they can do some major damage as she starts running, grossed out by the whole experience. If anything, the girl is sensitive and she was just in a pregnant egg filled lindwurm and now she's all icky and gross. She's sobbing at this point as she just starts to run off towards her car. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"
Haldor comes to a stop to stare in a mixture of shock and perverse amusement as Maia is plowed, headfirst, into the lindwurm. There really wasn't much of anything he could have done to stop it, timing being what it was. Instead, he rubs at the back of his head and stares.
"Man. That was a pretty dick thing to do. You really aren't much like Goku in Dragonball, are you?"
Stalking up to Haldor, David draws up into his face. The look of joy? Laughter? It's gone. "Imagine," David says, quietly, "That they made a cartoon about Thor. They portray him in chibi style, as a funny little kid with a hammer who fights other magical hammer-people - and the only thing that's thor-like about this chibi character is that he's got a fucking hammer. Then, imagine they make a live-action movie of it…and they cast a five foot four-inch gay Japanese man as Thor, the kid with a little hammer. And imagine that every time you fucking met someone, when they heard that your father was Thor, they said, 'Why aren't you a chibi with a little tiny hammer?'. Make a fucking Dragonball crack one more time, and I'll shove your head into the lindwurm, too. Only I'll do it without your fucking body attached. Get me, Chibi?"
Rupert takes a drag off his newly-lit cigarette. "Haldor's daddy got portrayed as a blond-haired pretty boy who speaks like a Shakespearean theatre reject who flies by throwing his hammer and hanging on for dear life." Rupert says, "Course, my own mum's still pretty much portrayed as a raging bitch with all the mercy of a tiger and four arms. Good call on that one."
Haldor stares back into David's face, piercing blue eyes showing very little of whatever emotion might be raging on the inside. For several moments, 'Chibi' remains quiet. Slowly a grin spreads across the Viking's face as he regards David.
"Ripper's got my daddy pegged, so far as media portrayal goes. Let me just let you in on a little secret though, Davey was it? My pop? He had a one night stand with my mom at a concert. He spent like three days with her afterward and promptly got his ass bitten by a poisonous snake in the middle of fucking Pennsylvania. Apparently this killed off what passed for some kind of mortal form and he didn't so much as sneeze in the general direction of my life until about six months ago.
"Then Thor shows up and sits me down to fucking tell me I'm some kind of super-powered son of a god. And, oh yeah, I have to keep an eye on my ass because there are these Titanspawn wads out to kill me and a whole lot of other people. Good luck fighting them off, I've gotta get back to Asgard. They don't validate goat parking down here on Midgard anymore. A couple months later, my uncle, Baldur, fucking shows up out of absolutely nowhere and hands me this," Haldor pats the metal bracer on his left forearm for emphasis, "As if being able to survive a bigger fall's going to help me in fighting bitches with some scary ass fucking weapons and powers that I don't got.
"You, apparently, got a godly dad that cared. Good for you, man. I can see why you're cheesed about fucking chibi Son Goku. Just don't go taking it out on your fucking friends, man, cause Ripper 'n' Maia? They're probably about the best back up you can get in this fucking War, especially Maia, unless your daddy lets you see ghosts on top of giving you a kick ass spear and monkey powers? Because shit, I wish my dad gave me something other than the most depressing pep talk ever."
"Grow the fuck up, pussy. My dad cuckolded my other dad and left after a one-night stand, then shows up and jerks me out of my life in the fucking -theater- to tell me I gotta save the fucking world, and you know what?" David reaches up, shoves a finger toward Haldor's face. "I was fucking -happy- for it. Because I'm not a goddamned emo -fuckoff- like some of the rest of you. I realize that my fucking -duty- is important, and I don't cry about having been in a fucking convent or getting torn away from some cushy life. I just go out, and I fucking -kill Titanspawn-, and I have fun at it. So get the fuck out of my face and stop insulting my Divine Father, who is worth more to the fucking fight than your entire goddamned -pantheon-, because he spawns Scions who don't cry to people they just met about how horrible their life is because their daddy didn't bounce 'em on their fucking knee and cry about getting a little monster-guts on them. You know what you do when you want more parental fucking guidance? You pray for it or you shut the fuck up. You know what you do when you get fucking monster guts on you? You fucking shower and you fucking deal, because it means the monster's -dead- and you aren't. You know what you do when someone insults your fucking father? You make sure they don't fucking do it again. So don't do it again, Chibi."
"Got a sudden craving for popcorn," Rupert muses, blowing smoke toward the argument. "Either of you blokes got a few? Think I saw a stand down the beach and I'm not carrying cash." He shrugs. "Or, if you're through comparing the relative size and girth of your John Thomases, we can get the fuck out of here before the cops show up and I get another black mark on my rap sheet."
"Get your shit flinging, flea picking, piss licking finger out of my face before I move it out of my face, Banana Boy." Haldor doesn't so much as twitch, staring David dead in the eye. The Viking sneers at David, probably about a half-bar of indignation away from spitting in the Monkey Prince's face. "That wasn't crying 'bout my daddy not being there when I was a kid. That was me trying to /POLITELY/ get you to see things from the other side of the situation."
Haldor is continuing to look grouchy. Aware of Rupert's questions and concerns, but much more interested in staring David down in proper Viking fashion.
"Shit needs killing? I'll kill some shit. A Monkey Boy needs his finger broke so he'll learn not the difference between being a prankster like his daddy and being a dickhead like he's been to a chick who, frankly, kinda needs him to be a good guy like his daddy? I'll break his fucking finger."
"You'll try," David says, quietly. "BUt the thing about guys like you, Chibi? Big, not-so-smart guys. Pretty. Used to being around humans. Still fresh to this whole game where somebody who isn't as big as them can kick their fucking ass because they're faster, smarter. Sometimes stronger." The finger wriggles, as if taunting the bigger man. "Go ahead, chibi. Give it a try. Beat up the taunting little monkey for making you mad. But think about this. We're fucking legends, asshole. And what legend did you ever read where the fucking bear fought the fucking monkey and the monkey lost? Monkey never loses, man. So go ahead. Give it a shot. Take a swipe with those big ol' grizzly paws."
Haldor smiles at David. It's not a pretty smile in the least, but it is a smile. "Yeah. I kind of thought that's what you'd say." The Viking turns, very slowly and deliberately, away from David and toward Rupert. "You see a hamburger stand around here? I could go for a burger, some fries, and maybe a shake if they got 'em."
"Right," Rupert says, taking a drag off his cigarette. "You two done, then? Because if I wanted to hang around blokes doing Titan's work, I'd go find that Irish bastard. Now, put your dicks away, resign yourselves to the fact you're on the same side, and let's go get a fuckin' burger."
"Next time, Red." And with that, David launches - up, into the air, that strange ballistic arc that takes him far up, out into the sky, on a curve that will put him down…well, somewhere else.
Oh noes! Our heroes are split apart!.