Coitus Interuptus

Jolie has managed to convince David that going back to her place would be better than recreating the Kama Sutra in the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So they are walking down Fifth Avenue en route to her crib. She occassionally bumps his hip with hers, giving him the occassional come hither glance.

With an arm around Jolie's waist and a thumb through a belt loop, David strolls rather languidly down the street next to her, lips curled into that extremely pleased look that only comes on when you're absolutely, one hundred percent sure you're about to get laid.

Jolie blithely says, "I think I'm gonna have to get one of those wall mounts for the sword, so I can show it off. My man got me a katana," she sing songs. Once they get to the complex, she has to open a gazillion doors and buzz in and all that stuff. And she pauses for another kiss each time.

"Your man? Wow, this is all going so fast." The sarcastic, teasing tone suffuses the statement - right up until the first door causes the first kiss. Then, there's simply an attempt to make each kiss a little harder to pull away from. Seriously, if he can't at least get her panties off in the -elevator-, he's totally failed.

"And I'm your woman," Jolie says between kisses. "Unless you don't mind being another notch on my bedpost. I'm cool either way," she teases right back. She pushes the button for the elevator, also known to David as the Place Where Panties Are Removed.

"Just how many notches are we talking here?" An upraised brow, an only half-joking bit of jealousy, and Jolie just might find herself sans panties when the elevator door slides open on her floor - the only question is whether they'll be shocking Mr. Jones from next door, or being attacked by an angry monster.

Jolie laughs. "Let's just say that I'm experienced and leave it at that." She emerges from the elevator sans panties. But David is missing his underwear as well. Assuming that he even wears underwear.

And somehow, both of them are still wearing pants. That's just how good these two are. There's a stumbling out into the hallway, as Jolie is lifted up off the floor and pinned against a wall by David's body. It's going to be a long, slow, delightful wrestling match down to the door that's hers.

Jolie lets out a little "oof" noise when she gets pinned, but she's all smiles as they work their way down the hall to her room. Hips churning, tongues tangling, hands everywhere. There should be music with lots of heavy bass thumping.

Chika-chika-bow-wow. Thump! Oops, wrong door - poor Miss Stevens's door cracks only a little under the force, but the shouts from within would make it sound like a horde of zombies were trying to break through, and somewhere inside a gun goes off and there's a crash of broken glass. "Sorry!" But not sorry enough to put the girl down.

"Oops. Sorry bout that, Miss Stevens!" Jolie laughs. "Man, some people don't know how to use their guns." She humps against David, then purrs, "You're not one of them, are you, David?" Paging Dr. Freud.

"Never was much for guns - but you ought to see me handle my spear." He finally finds the right door to get Jolie pinned against, and takes the opportunity to lean in, take her lower lip with his teeth, and tug with a possessive little growl. "Keys."

And as our two heroes prepare for coitus a seemingly homeless man steps out from..nowhere. It's not even cold out, it's beautiful and sunny, yet as he breathes, water seems to condense from his breath. He looks nup towards them and raises his brows at the two, "Got any change?"

Jolie doubletakes at the arrival of the homeless guy. "Uh." She blinks. She manages to wriggle enough to get some change out of her pocket and toss it to the man. Along with the shorts she liberated from David. "Oops. Uh, maybe you can use those too?"

Digging in his rear pocket, David comes out with a moneyclip, flicks it open, and tosses a couple of bills at the homeless guy - he can't tell what they are, but probably $20s or $100s, he doesn't look. His attention seems focused on testing Jolie's tolerance for sharp teeth applied to the flesh on the side of her neck.

At the money that's being thrown out at him, the homeless man grins wryly, stuffing his pockets full of money. Soon enough he starts to grow, and not in the way that David's spear does. His once human looking form goes from at least six feet to twelve. His eyes start to glow with an unholy light, and his body starts to suck up all the warmth of the area as he continues to grow until he's rather large. The man's flesh is black with decay with vile fluids pumping through his veins. In the end, he's surrounded by an anima wretched blue.
"Thank you, I'll make your deaths quick and painless.." he says as a sword of ice starts to form in his hand, the humidity in the air solidifying..

Jolie lets out a happy squeal as David goes to work on her neck. And then the homeless guy becomes more than just a man. Her expression falls, then sharpens to anger. "Oh that is SO not fair! I was bein all charitable! And I was about to get my groove on! You just pissed off the wrong people, my man!"

At the smell of decay and the feel of cold, David lets out a long, low sigh against Jolie's neck. "It won't take long, I swear, baby. And we'll have so much fun showering off the gore afterward." Slowly, reluctantly lowering Jolie to the ground, David lets his lips drag across hers once more, then reaches up to retrieve the Qiang of Ao Guang from its resting place behind his ear.

"Do you have -any idea- who you're fucking with? Obviously not. Let me guess, Mikaboshi sent you? You're one step up from that woefully insufficient tengu? I guess they couldn't send anyone -clever-. Someone -clever- would never agree to come in the first place."

"No, I'm serious." When David moves, it's faster, smoother than any martial artist. You've probably seen movies where the special effects were not this good - one moment he's simply standing there, clothes askew, belt unbuckled…and then the next, his foot is flying out, catching a painting on the wall, ending it flying off toward the creature's face as a distraction to keep its hands away from where the Qiang of Ao Guang is suddenly plunging toward its stomach, growing to its standard ten-foot length as it goes. "Do you minions -never- think about what happened to the last minion? Why it's -you- being sent, instead of the guy giving you the orders?" The spear jerks back, twisting as it goes to open the wound wider if it can, before David spins around - the spear shortens, makingg it possible to maneuver in the tiny hallway, before lengthening again just in time to send a sideswipe of the leaf-shaped blade against the creature's knee. "It's because everyone they already sent is -dead-, and the one giving you orders is too -smart- to try it himself."

As his spear hits, impacts, and…doesn't do crap…David turns, shoots a look at Jolie. "Run." Of course, that's probably the worst advice -ever-, since teamwork will probably be the only way to beat the thing…but, hey. It took two of his best hits.

Jolie hears David's advice, but sadly she doesn't listen. Instead, she tries to take advantage of his attacks to buy time for information. A decayed monster just might be something she can handle. She grasps the gris gris that hangs around her neck. Her expression is full of anger and frustration as she intones, "Papa Legba, open the way for me! Baron Samedi, my father…give me the vision! Give me the sight to see what this creature is, so that we can defeat him!"

The creature itself, while consisting of a dead completely dead. It's one of the spirits of the most vile humans in history, turned and twisted by the Titans themselves into this monstrosity. The sight, at least for Jolie is hideous and revolting if anything else. While the homeless man looks normal with it's glowing eyes, she sees something
else completely.
The creature itself, at least to the eyes of those who can see such things is that of a mutated human soul. It's cringing in pain, that much is obvious, but it's been twisted and bound to something animating the rest of the body. It's not even human, as she can see a faint human skeleton like figure in the dark ichor…

As Jolie doesn't leave, David - blissfully unaware of what she's seeing - growls, pressing the attack. Goddamnit, he was about to get laid, and now this thing is having the -gall- to be nasty enough to not die quickly.

So let's see where its weak point is - trial and error. Not the gut. Not the knee. He leaps upward, clinging to a light fixture with his feet and one hand while he swipes at the thing's throat with the leaf-blade, then swings downward, clinging with just his toes to come at it from underneath, shoving the spear up at the unprotected flesh(?) under its arm.

Dropping down to the ground in a tumbling move, he rolls onto his back, plants the butt of his spear between its feet and grows it -up-. Even undead creatures have genitalia. His feet come up, his legs spreading to either side of the hallway to brace against the opposite walls and shove himself forward, sliding between the creature's legs, then kips up to his feet.
His spear lashes out, just to the left and above the tailbone, then again, directly between the shoulderblades at the vertebrae of the spine that, in a mortal creature, would pretty much effectively decapitate them without actually severing the head before he lands, crouched, facing the creature from behind.

Jolie stares at the creature. "I see! It's undead! Thank you, Daddy!" She lowers her head and begins to chant, a rhythm flowing through her words. Some dust from the gris gris is tossed at the monster. "Come to me, follow me, follow /me/…join your brothers…" But the giant spirit in corpse does not heed her cries.

David makes his repeated slashes, hitting and probing for weakspots. For the most part, he laughs as he grins, though he's slashed and some chunks of ichor and corrupted flesh splashing up against the wall. The dark ichor eats away at the walls as the creature just laughs, letting out a bellowing boom. He cants his head to the side, seeming to detect that his true form is being looked at. He felt the tug of his flesh just a bit as he grins wryly.

"You are a gnat, boy. I will deal with you later. However, the necromancer is a bigger threat.." He's not stupid. He knows that if the protective flesh is pulled away then all that will be left is the vulnerable skeleton. Dark ichor surrounds his hand as he looks towards Jolie with deathly intent. His eyes glow a dark crimson red as he starts to bring forth the essence of decay on Jolie herself. "DIE…"

The dark energies rip and tear at Jolie, skin splitting like overripe fruit. She grits her teeth, trying not to scream with the pain, but some sound escapes, a groan and hiss. Then she glares at the corpse, blood streaming down her face and body, soaking her clothes. And she begins to…dance. It's wild and crazy, her moves not much different from those she was doing earlier with David. She chants and whirls, blood splattering the walls. With one final gutteral shout, she tosses more gris-gris dust at the zombie. "Come to me and heed my command! For I am the daughter of Baron Samedi!"

"Jolie! I don't think it's listening! Get out of the way!" He gives her a half-second to duck out of the way of the massive thing, then charges toward its back - even a creature like this has mass and can be affected by physics, and when you're a scion with Epic Strength, physics is your bitch. The suddenly log-sized spear slams into the creature from behind - its flesh is tough enough that the weapon cannot penetrate, but with David digging his toes down into the carpet so hard he tears up the floor with every step, leaving a track of indents through the wood, the creature is pushed. Its flailing to stop its momentum tears the walls and ceiling apart, doors coming off hinges, light fixtures shattered, until it slams into the end of the hallway and crashes through the -wall- in a shower of wooden studs, plaster drywall, and glass.

"Well, there goes my damage fee," mutters Jolie as the superzombie gets slammed out of the building. She'd just managed to duck out of the way, thanks to David's warning. Picking herself up, she coughs, spits blood, then heads purposefully to her apartment to fetch The Baseball Bat. She grasps it as if she were Roy in the Natural. Then back to David's duffel bag to get the katana that he gifted her. Light glints off the blade. She looks to the Monkey Prince. "So. Fight or flee? It's on the ground, so I might be able to summon my friends to do some damage. But I'll need a little lift."

"I have…a Plan. Head down the stairs - I may need your friends to hold him in place, but I don't want anyone down there -just- yet. Can you summon them from up here? Uh. No time - it'll be pretty clear soon." He leans out the window, peering downward until he finds what he needs…then leaps outward, head-first, doing two forward flips before orienting with his foot aimed downward. When he lands, it's with crushing force, hitting his target at an angle. Not the super-zombie…a fire hydrant.

As the water starts to spill around everywhere from the hydrant, the aptrganger just laughs the entire time. His eyes widen as his hand becomes full of frost before placing it over the water that's spilling out on the ground making the asphalt completely frozen, much like an ice skating rink would be..hopefully people have Cat's Grace. Zombies alas..dont.

"I need earth…oh!" The hole caused by David's eviction of the monster allows Jolie access to one of the balcony gardens. The one owned by poor Miss Stevens. "Hi! I'll just be a moment," she says to the stunned woman, smiling broadly. And then she sprinkles a bit of dust from her gris-gris bag into the soil. "Papa Legba, Baron Samedi…all the Loa, please hear my plea! My brothers, come forth from the soil! Fight that thing!"

One would expect David, right about now, to take advantage of his massive agility edge over giant undead monster. Instead, he leaps upward. A nearby telephone pole is his goal - he leaps up, lands on it, near the top, clinging to one of the iron pitons driven into the side to allow workers to climb it. Clinging with one hand and two feet, he uses his other hand to slash with the spear - the fire hydrant's water spews into the air, covering the aptrganger with more and more conductive city water, full of tasty minerals that are so good for pulling electricity…from the live wires that David's just severed to fall onto it. He's only there for a moment before he is leaping away again, moving onward, across the street…

BZZZZT! The powerlines are cut down and for all around the next couple of square blocks people groan in annoyance as their power is cut! But it's all in the name of saving the world as the powerline strikes the ice that the creature is standing on. This creature isnt just 70% water, it's more like 90% and it's eyes crackle with electricity, paralyzing it for the next..five ticks.

And the five zombies named for the Jackson Five come forth in all their shambling decayed glory. But not where Jolie was expecting them. A bony hand thrusts forth from Miss Stevens' pot of begonias as Michael the Zombie makes his presence known. His brothers follow. And poor Miss Stevens screams and screams.

"Oops." Jolie looks very embarrassed. "Uh, I'll pay you for the pot." She shrugs sheepishly, then leads the Five down the stairs after a quick glance down. "Oh, David, you clever monkey. No wonder I want to do you so bad."

And cue the Thriller music.

Away from the telephone pole, across the street, up on the sidewalk, away from the water and the electricity. Even while the creature is paralyzed, he's not wasting any time - instead, he shoves the Qiang of Ao Guang underneath the small sedan's chassis, growing as he uses its leverage - his whole body heaves, using the spear as lever, the sidewalk as fulcrum, to heave the car up…over…

After those several seconds of insta-paralysis, the creature starts rushing towards David, moving with it's large lumbering form before trying to strike the monkey scion..alas, he fails.

Jolie hits the ground floor and steps aside to let the zombies do what zombies do best. "Tito, Marlon, Randy…try and gang tackle him. Michael, Jermaine, just beat on him." She gets her katana and bat ready in case the zombies can't slow the monster down.

Oh, that was a mistake. As the creature's massive arms strike out, he drops down…then just as quickly leaps upward, lands on the underside of the car, now facing the sky. Dropping down into a crouch, the Monkey Prince takes hold of the car's gasoline tank…and all of the sudden, he's tearing it away, heaving it upward…dousing the monster in about thirty gallons of accelerant before the Scion swings his expanding spear upward, now slicing through the power lines on the -opposite- side of the street to fall toward the gasoline-covered monstrosity. Just before he leaps out of the way, back toward the hole in the building where Jolie stands.

When faced with impossible odds, then instead of relying on your own abilities, take advantage of the surrounding environment. That is the essenceof what being a hero is..along with gaining enough legend by causing a several square block blackout in the midst of an epic battle. As the aptrganger gets doused in gasoline and then gets the sparks from the crackling electricity, it explodes in a gory and terrible fashion.
Chunks of ichor and black frozen decayed bits splay across the block, dissolving bits of buildings here and there. In the end? All that's left is a feather that lands in David's hand.

He lands, turns, and looks just in time to see the aptrganger explode. His arm slides around Jolie's waist, drawing her in close and hard as the eruption of decayed flesh covers the street. The feather drifts down and David reaches out to take it - smoldering, burning, unharmed. "So." His voice is quietly pleased. "What say we go fuck to candlelight, since I've killed the power for the entire city block?"

Jolie recalls her zombies to the earth from whence they came (but not Miss Stevens' pot of begonias). She then smiles up at David. "Sure thing. Let's be real loud. I'm sure I'm going to get kicked out after this, so we might as well go all out."

And fade to black…

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